My time here in the Bahamas is entirely about building this business to support women who cannot have children. www.yourLIFEafterIVF.com
Local taxi ride. Driver begins with normal questions like machine gun fire.
“Are you Married? How many Children?…”
“No. None. My body couldn’t have children. It was sick and I don’t have the ability. ”
Moments of polite discussion he insists,
“…With Jesus all things are possible…”
Me trying to educate him kindly about basic biology. He isn’t listening to my kind attempts to change the conversation…, biology, …belief. Nothing works.
His Machine gun fire response:
“I’m an ordained minister…With Gooooood all things are possible. I know a woman who regrew her uterus through God…”””””
He emphatically insists;
“PRAY AND HE WILL GIVE YOU new organs!!”
At this point, retriggered, exasperated, trapped in a taxi, grieving again my inability to give life, I literally am crying in the taxi. Heartbroken.
And then with fierce self-compassion and prayer:
“I know your heart is good but you are being unintentionally cruel to me, and other women who cannot have a child.” That his attempt is dividing us. Not helping. That he is not listening.
And that his attitude is exactly why so many women are discarded in less fortunate countries because they cannot bear a child. “Because her faith wasn’t strong enough”…. Please, anyone, dare to challenge that my faith wasn’t strong enough…
He is disturbed now. He knows he was doing the opposite of what his kind minister’s heart was trying to do. That he was ignoring my pain. Ignoring reality. Ignoring my grief. And exasperating my anger at God.
He learned that if he really wants to help he’ll support women grieve, not pray for some ignorant impossibility.
Good thing is he heard me. He took a breath.
Bad thing is once again; there is the ignorant, frustrating wound piercing my heart almost a decade after the fact. Again. Again. Again.
Good thing is that this terrible experience makes me even more firmly committed to work on supporting other women who cannot bear a child. Roughly 10% of the world’s women, BTW.
Once again heart screaming.
Once again recommitting to this business;www.yourLIFEafterIVF.com.
Once again asking your help to do so. If you know anyone who needs this kind of support, let them know about this work.
Love and blessings, Robbi — in Nassau, New Providence.